How can I think thin, if I don't know what thin looks like?

On every diet I've ever been on, one of the common themes, is to quote Paul McKenna ...'think yourself thin'... Sounds like a plan, yes? And most people can; they imagine themselves in their wedding dress, or an outfit they love, or a swimming cozzy they once slithered into with ease and every time they go to the fridge, I imagine that they imagine this svelte image of themselves, and hey presto, they close the fridge empty handed, and 'jobs a good 'un!' Several months of this behaviour, and the svelte figure returns, although you might want to rethink your favourite 80's ra-ra skirt, that was never a good look even if you do have killer pins!

I, on the other hand, have never been slim. Well that is a slight lie - I was born at a normal wight of 8lbs, and was average sized until I was about 9 years old, and then I was poorly (you can see in the picture just how thin I was), as I mentioned in the previous post - but after that the eating began, and I have just got heavier and heavier with age.

Some time ago, I came across a website where you could have your fat photo slimmed down, so I thought this might be a good idea, to get an idea of what I might look like - so I did - and scarily, when it came back, I look like an ugly version of my sister! Now, I would kill to have a figure like my sister (although I'd want bigger boobs - sorry Clare!)but the photo is only a guess-timate of what I would look like, so it still doesn't quite fit the bill.

You see, I have no idea what it feels like to be slim, now I'm not saying this as a sympathy vote, but I really don't. For example, I could never get my school skirts from the school uniform shop, and when I started horse riding properly at about 11 years old, I didn't get to ride the ponies like my peers, no - I got put on a chunky cob more suited to an adult! I have never run up a flight of stairs without needing oxygen at the top or worn a skirt in the summer without cycling style shorts underneath - so I don't actually know what I'm missing!

So I guess that this is another of those pesky obstacles that the CBT lady talked about, and it can be overcome. I suppose that I have to try and think how I felt as a 18 year, back when I was at college. I thought I was a heifer, compared to my lovely slim friends, but oh how I wish I could've just maintained that weight, instead of putting it on - minus the tapered jeans, and shapeless jumper!!