Well I am sorry to say that I have fluffed all my good work up. :-(
Since the last post, although I had a really good start keeping a diary and sticking to the 'plan', for some reason - and I can't put my finger on why, after a week or so of keeping a really good diary and mindfully eating a good 50% of the time, I just stopped and reverted back to my old bad habits.
I am due to see CBT lady next week, and I have to say I can't wait, because although I am trying each day, for some reason it's just not happening for me at the moment.
I have absolutely not given up though, I just need a good talking to from CBT lady next week and hopefully she'll set me back on the path again. here's hoping :-)
Anyway - to the real subject of the post, a bit of a rant I'm afraid.......
Where do people get off on being blatantly rude to your face when you're fat? Do they think that there caustic comments won't penetrate your blubber, or do they just assume that because you're a bit more portly than the average bear, you are stupid, therefore have no feelings? Simple mistake to make I'm sure!
When reading any 'quality' magazines, occasionally you will come across a 'real life' story that will be talking about some former fat person who has lost a substantial load of weight, they will often mention the fact that a comment prompted them to take a long hard look at themselves and hey presto - they are shamed into shedding the pounds. I thought that maybe that would happen to me too, but it hasn't yet, I just feel humiliated and then annoyed with myself that I didn't come back with a witty retort at the time.
Over the years I am sure that there have been numerous occasions where I have had comments made, but here are a few of my personal 'favourites';
The last time I had successfully lost almost three stone (and was feeling a little smug and pleased with myself) - I went on a walk in my lunch break, and whilst walking at a little under warp speed, I sped past the local first school, only to have one of the 'delightful little kiddies' shout 'Look at the fat lady.' and then collapse into peels of laughter with their mates. I felt awful and humiliated despite them being 8 or 9 years old.
On my birthday a few years ago, a group of us were all glammed up and walking through Birmingham, when a stretched limo full of pissed up lads (I like to think, it would explain their rudeness) pulled up at the lights just next to us, and one of the 'charming gentlemen' shouted very imaginatively 'Oi fatty' - I shrugged it off and carried on walking, but inside I was desperately hoping for a witty and withering reply to pop into my head so that I could respond appropriately - but nothing! My sister, apparently was really offended on my behalf and got quite upset about it, but I tried not to let it spoil my night - which it didn't, but 3 or 4 years later, I can still remember it standing out, so it obviously did make more of an impact than I would've liked.
Only last week, it had been a cool and overcast day after a couple of scorchio days, I was walking to my car, and passed a little old lady who said 'Ooh it's a bit cooler today isn't it?' , I, whilst smiling politely (must be polite to your elders) answered something non-committal like 'Hmmm, yes' - she then replied 'Well, I expect you like it better like this don't you?'
Now in my head, she may as well have added.....'because you get so hot being soooooo fat don't you?'. I don't think I was being paranoid in thinking this, because she also gave me the look of pity to go with it! Cheeky mare. Oh yeah, and the same week one of my service users, whilst talking about her own weight battle said 'I mean, it's like you isn't it, you'd be really pretty if you weren't so big' - thanks love, made my day!
Does it not occur to the person making the comment that you may already know that you are fat? You certainly don't need it pointing out, usually quite loudly and in a crowded place. When people say unfinished things like 'Oooh you've got a nice face........' and want to say .....'shame about the body.' It can become really quite offensive.
I certainly would hope that if I notice someone who is a little different, I certainly wouldn't be pointing it out to the world and his wife!
So the message is - Please think before you make an unnecessary 'fat-ist' comment! It really hurts peoples feelings.
Ok - rant over now - thanks for listening :-)
